Some of my Favorites.



1.Can I have a picture? I want Santa Claus to know exactly what to get me for Christmas.

2.Would you like to be my love buffet so I can lay you on a table and take what I want?

3.Thats a nice outfit. It would look great crumpled up on my floor.

4.If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.

5.Wanna play war? I'll lay down and you can blow me away!

6.That's a nice pair of pants. Can I talk you out of them?

7.Would you like to dance? No. Oh thats o.k. I've got to take a shit anyway.

8.Hi I'm easy.

9."Hey, want to dance?" (If no) say: "Did you think I asked you to dance? No! I said, you look fat in those pants."

10.So, I see you eat with utensils. Well, I've got one that I'm just dying to put in your drawers.

11.You look a little feverish. Luckily I always have an oral thermometer on me.

12.Are you sure that your gynacologist did good job on your last visit? You know, I'd be more than happy to probe around.

13.A snake just bit my penis. Could you be so kind as to suck out the venom?

14.Don't worry, I'll be back in a few six packs.

15.Do you like blueberries or strawberries, 'cause I want to know what kind of pancakes to order in the morning.

16.My mattress is a little hard. Would you like to help me break it in?

17.I've got the F, the C, and the K, no all I need is U!

18.Wipe off your face and say "Here, I cleaned off this seat for you."

19.My face is leaving in five minutes, be on it.

20.If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?

21.Wanna know what would look good on you? "Me."

22.I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me? 2

3.I'm an army recruiter. Why don't you come over to my place and "be all you can be."

24.Excuse me, your fly is down. Oops, maybe not now but definately later.

25.I didn't sleep with that girl, we were UP all night!

26.Come and sit on my lap and see what pops up.

27.Excuse me. I seem to have misplaced my willy-warmer. Do you mind if I try you on for size?

28.I need to use your thighs as ear muffs.

29.Come over to my house and lets do math, subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and we'll multiply.

30."Those are a nice set of legs....what time do they open?

31.Those are the whitest teeth I've ever cum across.

32.Is your name Daisy? Cuz I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!

33.I lost my virginity, can I have yours?

34.I'm sorry where you talking to me?(No) Please start then.

35.I like your butt. Can I wear it as a hat.

36.(Motion a girl with your finger to come over to you)"I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum.

37."You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya." 3

8.Smile if you want to sleep with me. :)

39.(Make a card that says this)I am, madly in love with you, on the verge of killing myself for your love and I don't even know your NAME__________ PHONE________

40.Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

41.Your face or mine?

42.Are you ready to go home now?.

43.Let's play gynecologist.

44.Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.

45.I wanna floss you with my tongue.

46."I'd like to get something straight between us." (and then look at your penis)

47.Can I eat the Tic-Tac between your legs?

48.You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my pants.

49.Cold outside, isn't it? (staring at breasts)

50.Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'